A Modest Proposal
Recently Tuur Demeester tweeted something that got me thinking:
Cool story! Comparing Bitcoin to crude oil is an ingenious, original analogy. By now the "gold" comparison has been done to death what with "mining" being used to refer to transaction processing. But tbh, I'm not sure if oil is good enough for me. We need an even more literary, poetic metaphor to explain our complex thought processes to stupid people who don't understand Bitcoin.
I've been chasing after the right metaphor for a long time, but I think I've finally found it: Bitcoins are digital sheep.
It's perfect. The best way to profit from your flock of coins is to leave them alone to wander off into the mountains to look for the best grass to champ on. And the truly revolutionary aspect of digital sheep is the decentralization: Bitcoin needs no shepherd.
That is, except every Spring when it comes time to shave your Bitcoins.
Shaving your Bitcoin is very hard and can only be done by developers with a lot of expertise. But basically how it works is you need to send your sheepdog out into the mountains to hunt after the stray coins. You know they are valid Bitcoins because they each carry a proof of work stamp burned into the side flank. But be warned: coins frequently go missing during snow storms. But this is good because it reduces their supply and increases their market value.
Once your sheepdog has rounded all your coins together, it's time to direct them into one or multiple pens. Once they're in the pen they won't be able to wander off, which means you can start shaving them.
Shaving is important, because that's how you create the second layers vital for mass adoption. First of all you shave off the wool, then you send it to the manufacturer, who turns the wool into jumpers, which are almost infinitely scalable except when exposed to temperatures greater than 30 degrees celcius.
Alternatively if you can send your Bitcoins to a slaughterhouse to be butchered to make delicious roast lamb. Just beware the older ones might be less fungible. Other than jumpers, this is an alternate way to leverage coins in the secondary marketplace.
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